@ameliachantalle (:

Saturday, October 4

lost

Its painful everyday,

But I try,

Because I’m dumb,

And harbor hope that doesn’t exist.

Thanks to Melissa, Shen, Melody, Darren kor all the way frm aussie,

Naz, Jethro, Del and co + JK.

You guys have been there for me

When I need it most (:

Love you alotalot (:

I know I don’t cry in front of you,

I just don’t wanna,

I’ll use Dunhill to kill some feelings,

But its not working, I feel

Well chi, I really thought you were a good friend,

Up till a few days back,

What you said to me,

Really killed my spirit,

I sorta gave up a little,

Hearing you take his side,

Saying “give it up la, it cant be saved ady”

I don’t know how I feel about you as a friend now.

It just really hurt.

Lets see what you say if it happens to you..

According to a reader,

She feels my pain,

As I write a sad story,

Well, imagine what I feel, its most definitely

A million times worse.

I cry to sleep,

Starve myself from Dunhill,

Try to go out go I don’t think too much,

Try to be a friend,

STOP myself from saying ‘I miss you’

Its what I wanna say,

But I don’t think I should

I really need a hug,

A Dunhill.

And your name in my phone is fh,

Because the full name makes me feel pain,

And I left it as bi,

But my heart couldn’t take it.

I say that I’m alright,

I lie that I am happy,

When all I do is cry myself to sleep at night

*cuz tonight will be the night that I will fall for you,

Over again, don’t make me change my mind,

I won’t live to see another day,

I swear its true,

Cuz a --- like you’s impossible to find,

Impossible to find. ..*

I know you might think I’m boring,

I know you think I don’t wanna be a friend,

Truth is I’m still in pain.

I still miss you,

And not seeing a text from you at all,

Seems even worse than this,

So I’ll bare it till

My heart tells me to stop.

Sorry if I ‘fan’ you.

I know I’ll never get “US” back.

I’m just dreaming..

Thursday

MOMS BDAY!

Happy Birthday Mummy (:

I youuu!

Headed to dels house ,

Didn’t wanna be alone,

And I was bored.

What a fucking time for my internet to ko on me!

Aaron Del and Dulcie totally

Tried to console me (:

Darren called, all the way from aussie.

I hid in Dulcie’s room and cried the whole time

I was on the phone with him.

His words really it hard,

And I know he’s being honest,

He has my best interest at heart,

Talking to him helped me cry out all my feelings.

But when I came out

I came to huggs from the trio,

And started crying again.

*sighs*

I feel so so weak ):

I’m so useless.

That night,

Mel who just came back from Malacca

Took me and Shen to PM and Ming Tien.

Unfortunately PM kena rain out ):

Stuck in Kayu.

Saw a lot of seaparkians.

Got my Dunhill.

Made mel sad,

She doesn’t like seeing me and someonesomeone smoke.

Sorry melmel.

Headed back to Mels since Shen had to leave early.

Waited for Del and Aaron.

Went to Mcd for snacks and then Cinileisure for pool.

FRIDAY

Finally managed to have a good nights sleep,

Panadol helps.

Jets coming back today,

He found out whilst in Penang,

Thanks for being there for me (:

Yr a good lil bro,

Even tough we aren’t as close.

I’m losing touch with alotta high sch friends.

Plans to go for Naz’s open house kena

Cancel,

Since the *GUYS sleep till

The evenings -_-

Seriously. Bone pain la.

Fever attack around 3.

Slept tru a thunderstorm

With the help of EMO music till 5.

Mom and dad returned frm Frasers due to boredom.

Around 6 smthg.

Mel picked me up about 7,

We headed to OU.

Saw some DJ orgorg.

I CAN’T FIND MY MELODY ANYWHERE!

HELP!

I really want my melody.

A small one, a big one?

A huggable one,

My melody has a meaning,

In my heart.

I sleep with Princess Dolphin Bu

Everynight, I need a new teman,

Somewhat to not remind me

Of you always.

The cutecute mou liu shops in OU all don’t have,

I only saw my melody in Pyramid,

But I never go there -__-

Hmmm.

Well

Watched EAGLE EYE!

Damn nice.

Finally after a long time,

A movie thts actually good.

Few days back watched mama mia,

But I dunwanna blog bout it.

It was the last time

I hugged YOU

The last time I saw YOU

The last time I held YOU

The last time I kissed YOU,

The last time I said “I love you”

I did have fun,

But I dunwanna blog about it.

Its painful.

You want romance,

But not me,

You love me,

But as a friend,

No longer as someone special.

I’m hurt and it hasn’t lessened.

But I will force myself to be your *uhrm* friend…….

I can’t seem to not talk to you,,,

Boy, you’ve got a spell on me.

I miss the us that will never happen again.

Ten months can change in 2days.

I’m not kidding.

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