20

20 that's my age as of 2010.

another 2 till 2012.

will I be spared?

oh, I've lived a good life.

but if you ask me to visualize my future, I'd tell you its a blur.

Like a cataract blocking vision. 

Maybe its true that I won't live past 30.

Or in this case,... 22.

At least I'd have been 21 (: no?

And what if you feel that you've found life soulmates?

Not just "The one"

So fickle,... there's more....

Oh so much more. 

 

why did I get to meet them but not have memories with them?

Is the end always so near?

Am I alive only to die?

I'm no genius but I'm not stupid.

I'm not tall, but I ain't the shortest.

Fair but not the fairest,

fast but not the fastest,

good but not the best.

will I die not having the one's I love by my side?

Am i deigned to a life of nothing?

Am i working for something thats going to disappear?

Am I too young to say that I've found the soulmates I'll need for life?

The one's I WANT for life?

Am I destined for failure when I always tell myself that I'm the one holding my future?

Its all in my hand, my grip, my choices. 

But then again, what God does not give me I will never be able to take.

Cause he'll always take it back. 

So,.. what will be happening to me? you? us?

Will we just lose everything and meet on the other side?

 

So now, what am I doing here?

Have we been set up for failure?

Why do we lose the people and things we want so badly, 

but can never own? 

I just don't understand. I'm not emo, please don't think its that.

I just think alot and I wonder why we always lose. Its like a war, noone really wins. 

Idiots....