@ameliachantalle (:

Wednesday, May 11

when having friends result in imprisonment

Its awful to think that even today, parents can still have double standards. 

Long before you have done anything wrong, you've already been judged and tossed out the window hanging on for dear life.

So this isn't about me, no. I'm extremely lucky that my parents understand. No, this is about a friend. A dear friend, one of the sweetest and one of the most obedient and responsible people I know. This is for you hun, I don't know how to help, its a brick wall to me. I really wish I could be there for you.

You see, the term friends is widely used by us, and by us I mean the Asian kids living in an Asian society with a tonne of Asian cultures and circumstances.

I'm a 2nd Year Communications student. I'm currently studying at Taylor's UC, and most people who hear that and take one look at me deem me a party girl. Or somewhat wild. I can tell you that while I am liberal and opinionated, I'm still Asian. I know my morals, limits and most of all, myself.

What you see isn't always what you get. I look wild, but to me God, family and friends are precious.

  • I go to church, am an active member and used to teach Sunday school. I hold my faith close to my heart, it is an integral part of me. 
  • I love my family, I'd die for them. They are everything to me. And even if I am not the best daughter in the world. I love my parents and brother to death. They are everything. When I love someone, I love them more than they love themselves. *probably* Because, what they don't see that's wonderful about themselves? I see. I do.
  • And especially close to home for this post, my friends. The other people I love more than family. Sometimes, blood isn't thicker than water. The friendships we make? The people who come into our lives, they can sometimes turn into more than just friends. They become family. They earn it. And that is why, they are every bit more precious. 

So now that I've side tracked a lil, as I always do.

This post is for you Nikki, stay strong. Persevere!

Don't compare yourself to me, or Xian or anyone else for that matter. You are a wonderful person. And don't think that you are any less than that, okay?

I have freedom, and I am a comm student. My parents are in this line. We all have common fields, we all have client servicing and PR integrated in our lives. I am not the kind of person who can sit in 24/7. I love being out and about. And consequences are that some think I am wild, and god forbid they should think I am irresponsible. But hey, you can't win it all.

You've always been somewhat of a role model to me. You're pretty, sweet and smart to top it off. I admit I've had my jealous moments. But overall, you're like a sister to me.

I love spending time with you and I'm sorry if misunderstandings happen. We don't always hang out at your place for fear of imposing too much. Also, we happen to go there to meet the curfew and sometimes get carried away by staying too late. I'm sorry if it has had a backlash.

I do know that, your parents mean well for you and though it doesn't seem fair. I believe that one day they will understand, trust me?

For me, my parents know where I am, who I am with at all times. It's all about trust. Besides my parents are also people with itchy behinds and none of us can sit still for long. I even have yumcha's with my parents! haha, seriously!

Its hard for you to see that something bright will come, but just be patient for now? And even while I can't see you for now. I'm here. Just call, just ask. Just type one letter, and just know that you'll have me there.

You're my bestfriend (: You know that right?

I hope that one day, parents in general will understand that going to college or uni is not going out. Well look at it this way, mom/dad *or any parent if you are reading*, did you consider going to school going out?

Its not the same, it isn't the same because those are educational vessels. You go there to study. And you come home to rest and study more. We live a fast paced life parents, as do you. And though we have not earned money, well some have. You have raised us well. You have given us a good head to hold up high.
Can you not trust us to make decisions right?

And why would you ban us at the age of 21, from having a drink with friends? From catching a movie? From making connections with people, no matter how different.


It sucks, yeap that's right! You say a key is issued at 21. But its just for show in most cases.
Please trust us, especially when we have done nothing buy been obedient and showed you how matured we are. We all have to grow up, and when you give us double standards and judgement before we've done any wrong, all it does is it makes us feel as if we are infants.

You might as well stuff us back in the womb and leave us there till the end of the world.

We grow up, and you need to love us enough to trust us.
We make mistakes, were human.
We have lives of our own, be a part of it; don't alienate us.
Love us enough to let us fall down, and pick ourselves up.
Cuz were older now, if we don't make mistakes, if we don't fall; we will never learn.
We will never grow.

*this applies to all parents and it is a culmination of what most children feel. I am speaking from a general standpoint. I'm not telling you to cover up a murder or something, okay? Its just a post about freedom. The freedom to go out. And how hard a position you put us in when we are 21, and are treated as if we are 5.

1 comment: