Following a not so short heart to heart with some bff's awhile back, it dawned upon me that maybe I'm only as strong as I believe I am, maybe I really can't fool my heart into healing faster?
I always pride myself for being able to progress ahead pretty quick, but as I get older and understand more what it means to lose the people you love or hold dear. Wether to death or the world, is painful non the less.
You can't plan love, that why its called falling in love. Its means its unexpected, spontaneous and above all; beautiful. If it took you that long to love, it will take you that long to heal should that love leave.
Everyday I miss my grandmother, my Amah, and whenever I think about her, my eyes well up and teardrops form. No matter how hard I try not to, I'll end up with a mountain of tissues tear and snot stained. (pardoné moi)
I find that even as I do not miss a certain guy, I do miss that feeling of belonging, companionship and the emotional connection to someone. That shoulder to cry on (although....) nevertheless, there will always be something you miss, should you truly have loved that person.
Nobody truly moves on, all that happens is we grow stronger and wiser, getting our hearts broken is probably a mechanism meant to help us evolve emotionally an mentally. One step closer to knowing what and who we need, rather than want.
Want does not always equal need, and vice versa.
As much as I mock Twilight, I hope one day; I will find that person who I am drawn to like gravity. Lets just *fingers crossed* hope thats who I need too, ey?
Nobody said love was an easy thing, but keep in mind; it shouldn't be that tough either (:
It should make you warm, fuzzy, giggly and smiley for no reason but love itself.
It should make you cry, hurt and worry; because you care.
It should communicate, cause thats the only way it works.
It should toss you into clouds of ecstasy and pit you into hells raging fires.
If you have survived this far? Congratulations, you truly have found love worthy of the name; LOVE...
I am one blessed with great memory for emotions and yet hardly any grudge. It be both a blessing and curse. Forgiving quick, but remembering the pain of a scar as if it was a fresh wound of yesteryear.
I'm not as strong as I thought after all yea? As they say, the funny, outgoing, least emotional one is usually the most fragile.
But look at me not with pity, but with hope. Because I am an optimist, as many times as I fall, know that I will always pick myself up.
Might need a couple helping hands along the way. But thats a journey I'm willing to travel. A journey that teaches me love, understanding and appreciation.
I'm frank to friends who hurt in love because I want them to toughen up too, sadly they run into a shell, seal it up and think I'm just being mean.
Seriously? One day, you'll understand. Till then, I'll shut my mouth and let you learn to pick yourself up. When u ask, my ear is ready to listen my shoulder to help.
I know I've run off topic but if Harry Potter has thought me anything? Its that in life, love dictates most of our direction. I'd rather be Snape in silence than a bitter Lord V.
For now? Dear Lord, I pray for love in all forms for everyone who thinks they aren't already loved.
If I have ever met you, spoken to you or typed to you, I want you to know that you have made a difference in my life. One person can make a difference!
Go forth & ; Love!