@ameliachantalle (:

Friday, April 23

it hurts to think.

it hurts to think, when I realize one day she'll not be there. 
it hurts to think that I'll come home and not be greeted by a "whine" or a wagging tail or by that manja face that just begs to be given a pat and a treat. 
it hurts to think, that she'll be gone too soon all because of Y-O-U.

she's seen me grow up. 
we met when I was 11. 
she was always there when I was having a bad day. 
i could cry and she'd stick by me. 
even if she couldn't talk back, she'd just sit till I was done crying or talking. 

I remember when she was a puppy, we went for walks. 
Instead of me walking my dog, she was walking me,.. literally. 
Once I tripped and she being too excited dragged me across the field. 
I guess thats why I now have man arms (but now they are flab)
The only time she showed a sign of fear was at the vets. Getting barked at by a small teacup irritating dog. 

She's made sure our shoes no longer get stolen,
 but then, she used to bite them instead and get whacked on the mouth and bum by a wad of newspaper.
however,.. she got even by ripping up newspapers and making a huge mess. 

She's been called a pirate, a one-eyed-jack and of course Snowy. 

She's my crazy one of a kind lovable dog, 
most can't say her name,.
but its Siau Pang (Xiao Paang)

A lot of people I know 
and family members have succumbed to cancer,
now she has it....

She's still so lively and easy going as usual. 
She seems to be alright, and not in pain. 

it hurts to think that I will have to say goodbye to this friend. this family member, this child, this history, this heart.
of 9 years. November 6th 2001. 
you are definitely my first child. 
even though I have been a horrible negligent mom.

She's always there to greet me,
at the end of a day. 

if I am back late, she's there to protect me. 
She does get upset when we don't tell her where we go, or if we leave her alone. 

Some people will tell me I'm just crazy,
but NO! she really understands. 
If I go off and the house is empty, she'll whine and its like "Nooo, please don't go, stayyy..play with me ): "

but once you tell her that "you will be back"
she'll be all right. 

and yea, she helluva fierce, all my friends who've come will tell you that too. 
but its cause she loves us and protects us mad. 

even if there are other dogs, she gets jealous. its cute. 
I hate to think that she'll be in pain.
that when she leaves I'll not be there. 

Like when she runs out, and now and then we lock her out,...
so she gets the point. a lesson learnt. 
I've taught her to sit, jump, stay and go. 

when i was 13, my granma passed. She was depressed and mourned when we did. 
She didn't make noise when loads of people came to say Goodbye.

not long after, she greeted us with puppies. 
My dad had a dream of my granma talking to Pang a while after she died. 
hint from heaven?

A litter of 6 with Black or white spectacles, and ink dipped tails. 
All so adorable people snatched them up in no time. 

I'lll miss you Pang. You've been a wonderful dog. I know you'll always be in my heart and mind and soul. 
when you bit the shoes, we hung the shoes around yr neck, that image of you will always be with me. 

I'll cherish the time I have with you. 
I'm saying goodbye to a friend. 

i thought that watching Marley and Me would help.
Its 10times worse, just like Marley, we danced.
Just like Marley you made a mess,
Just like Marley, you are the worlds best and worse dog. 

to me you are, no ribbons or medals needed.
my little pirate. i want to be by your side when time comes. 
I'll see you in another place. 
I hop you'll be waiting for me and protect me whenever. 

I Love You. 
my baby...

dirty pirate. but still cuteness

my test subject for photography in sem 3 :D
People might think I'm mad.
But i am sure, those with pets will understand. 
So please keep your comments to yourselves if they are not kind. 
I'm fragile now and I'd rather you not create unrest. 
This is a trying year and a trying time. 
Thank You. 

Amelia Chantalle. 


Su said...

I know how you feel, Melia. Much love and big hugs!

she rocks your socks :) said...

Thanks so much Su, I think people have to smack me on the head next time I say I want a pet. It hurts too much to see someone/thing you love go before you.